Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Aria's March 2009 ER visit and admit

March 14, 2009
Subject: Aria is off to the ER!

Aria's temperature was 101.8! Yikes. She and Doc left a few minutes ago and they'll call me within the hour to see if she needs to be admitted, which I'm pretty sure she will be. DRATS!

Here's what happened: It all started last week when Rianna had a green runny nose. She never ran a temperature and her runny nose lasted a few days. No one else got sick until earlier this week when I came down with a wicked sore throat and runny nose. I didn't run a temperature though. By Tuesday my sore throat was better and by Wednesday it was virtually gone. Everyone was feeling good. Friday morning Aria mentioned having a few sniffles but she clearly felt well and was not running a temperature. She wanted to finish the week at school so I sent her without giving it a second thought. All day long yesterday and well into the evening she was fine. By bed-time she had a runny nose but that was it!

Aria has taken to climbing into bed with us in the middle of the night. It was around 3 30ish when her hand touched mine and it was piping hot. I woke up immediately and started feeling her. Her cheeks didn't feel super warm but her hands, feet, back and belly did. She had not been under the covers. I got up to get the thermometer just to check and as I was coming back into the room I heard Doc whisper to her, "Honey, do you feel hot?" Aria said sleepily, "Uh-huh." I turned on the light, took her temperature and VOILA 101.8!

A year ago April was our first run to the ER and let me tell you the difference then to now is just so amazing. I was completely calm and was even able to joke with the inpatient intake coordinator on the pediatric oncology wing. My heart wasn't pounding, my ears weren't ringing and I wasn't absolutely sick to my stomach. This is so familiar to us now. It feels safe somehow. It is still wretched and there is definitely an element of fear but it's different. Aria was 'bee-bopping' all over the place as we were getting her ready to leave. I'm serious. You would never in a million years guess that she was more than likely about to be admitted. As she walked out the door she rattled off what she wants me to bring her from McDonalds, "Hey, Mama, I want a cheeseburger, french fries, a coke and if they have a pony toy that would be great but it doesn't really matter what kind of toy they have!" I gave her a big hug and a sloppy kiss, which made her groan and giggle and off she went.

I stood in the open doorway watching her with her hand in Doc's as they walked to his car. I noticed a hazey moon through a misty veil of clouds. The air was crisp and refreshing reminding me that winter has not relinquished its grasp. The last thing I heard Aria say in a goofy playful way, Aria's way, was, "OOOOOOOH I hate spooky ghosts!"

I came into our library and began to write this. Almost immediately I was reminded of the image of death that swirled around our front door for a long time filling me with both a menacing fear and confidence to do what I must. That swirling grey smokey image hasn't been in my thoughts for quite some time and as I hear Aria's voice resonate in my mind all I can think of saying is, "TAKE THAT death. You're not welcome here!"

Aria is a powerhouse, but keep her close for us would you please? ~j

March 14, 2009
Subject: Aria was admitted
It's good news and bad news.

The bad news is that she has to be admitted!

The good news is that her ANC was 532, which is WAY higher than I thought it would be. Anything greater than 500 means you don't necessarily have to be admitted. But anything below 500 is a definite admit. She's teetering on the edge and she had her methotrexate chemo last night, which may drop her ANC even more, so they want her admitted to make sure. Her fever was still 101.8 upon arrival but after some tylenol dropped to 99.0. Her chest x-ray looked good as did a nasal swab they did. They'll be watching cultures for the next day or 2. My hunch is this will be a few day stay. On the best side of things we'll out be tomorrow but more than likely a few days. When Doc called a little while ago, they were waiting to be transported to a room and Aria was sound asleep. She'd already eaten several red popsicles and was pretty happy about that. She started to complain that she felt achey and I suspect was getting pretty tired. We're giving her some time to rest before we head in. We're planning to be there around 9am with plenty of movies in tow!

Keep us close and in the light!
much love, ~j

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