Aria and January 2009

This is one of my all-time favorite pictures!


This is our view from the kitchen window.

This is what I see when the sun rises!

January 13, 2009

Subject: Aria and January 2009

Our year anniversary is just 2 days away and it is very real and raw to us now. At different times over the past few days Doc and I have been teary and emotional talking about it. As we are remembering we’re shaking our heads. It is a continuation of suspended disbelief. It is still hard to acknowledge that Aria has leukemia and all that that means and at the same time it has become such a part of our normal that it's impossible not to acknowledge it. I have many thoughts about this past year that I'll share with you soon enough but suffice it to say that we continue to be well.

Aria continues to feel terrific. She is as healthy and as vibrant as ever. It is sometimes easy to forget and, my, it is tempting too. The fact that she is doing so well is "all relative" as Doc would say. Aria had a lab check on January 5th and FINALLY her counts are where we want them at 1519. This is right in the target range so we are keeping her at her current med levels and will check her counts again on the 19th. In a week Aria will go back to clinic to have a spinal tap with methotrexate injected directly into her spinal fluid. This, as you know, will continue to happen every 3 months. It is hard to believe that a year ago she was having them once a week! I find it incredible to consider having spinal taps every 3 months a wonderful change. Indeed it is, but it remains a horrific reminder of the intensity of her disease.

Aria has returned to school after a month long hiatus, which was part holiday and part illness related. We, as a family, are finally cold, cough and sniffle free after what seems like forever. I am enjoying this time of health and energy. Even though we've been socked-in with dense fog obscuring my view, I feel light and sunny. I am rejoicing in that and savoring every single moment of it.

As I look to our year anniversary, I notice that my shoulders are relaxed. I am creating art again. I'm planning the gardens. I'm welcoming back things I had to let gp. It is an incredible feeling and I am grateful and very humbled by it.

With that I'll leave you with the line of the day from none other than Aria. We were playing 'go fish' recently and just before she began counting her cards she said, "Hey Mama, would you mind shoveling my cards for me?" I think the fact that we have had over 70 inches of snow has had quite an influence. Don't you? ~j